Dungeons and Dragons is a game designed to bring all types of personalities together and allow them to work together to solve problems and “save the world.” Unfortunately, this also means there are many types of people who can ruin the game for everyone else at the table.
From my experiences both in life and at the table I believe most people can adjust their habits to avoid disrupting the game or being overly rude to their fellow players and Dungeon master.
If you are someone who keeps getting kicked out of groups and you don’t know why or you’re just a new player who wants to be prepared. Then check out my list below covering 6 tips for things not to do as a Dungeons and Dragons Player.
1. Never Show Up on Time
The number 1 item is not showing up on time. This may seem like a “duh” thing to say. But you would be surprised how many players fail to arrive at a decent time and fail to communicate anything to anyone. If you plan to show up late or have an emergency you should do your best to let your DM and fellow players know as soon as possible. I can’t stress how many times DMs have to postpone the evenings plans because someone crucial to the night’s story did not show up or let their fellow players know they were going to be late.
It is rude and it tells everyone else at the table (even if it isn’t true) that you do not think they are worthy of your attention, respect, or time. So show up on time and communicate clearly when you are running late or can’t attend.
2. Always Forget Your Stuff
Number 2 is another no brainer, but still merits being mentioned. Remember to bring your character sheet, dice, and other accessories you need to play. We all know from time to time it might happen, but when you consistently show up ill prepared it can be very stressful for your friends. People do not want to constantly wait while someone is frantically trying to remember what was on their sheet as they quickly rebuild a character last minute. Not to mention that it also says volumes to your fellow players about how much the game actually means to you.
If you struggle with remembering your stuff, ask if your Dungeon Master can at least hold on to a copy of your character. This will help you keep things moving along smoothly or use a digital service to keep track of your characters like DnDbeyond. Bring your stuff or take measures to ensure you don’t hold everyone else up at the table.
3. Play on Your Phone or Get Distracted
This is one of the worst things you can do to a dungeon master. I repeat this is one of the WORST things you can do to the person taking the time to build a story and share it with you. No DM in the world enjoys describing the scene or explaining a villain’s super awesome plot through an epic monologue only to have a player look up from his phone and say… “what?” Many of those faces around the table looking over at your lost expression are thinking one thing. (Well maybe more than one thing but that other stuff isn’t appropriate for everyone reading this) But that one thing is…
“Do He/she even want to be here?”
If you are constantly getting up from the table to go look at something else or checking out your twitter feed. You are not really there to play. And everyone at the table will pretty quickly get annoyed with you.
If you came to play then do that! If you are busy or are focused on other things at the moment tell your DM and don’t waste everyone’s time. When a DM is forced to recant details constantly it robs the immersion for other players. Please don’t turn your Dungeon Master into a broken record…
4. The Fantasy World Revolves Around You… Just You
I know when we sit down and make our characters and create a story around their background. We feel like a hero in the making. But that doesn’t mean you are the sole star of the “show” when you sit down at the table with your friends. You each play a part and its important that you don’t forget that. One of the worst things to experience as a fellow player or a Dungeon Master is having one person literally trying to be involved in every story and side story, even the one’s they are unaware of or are not around for. These are the players that have to take the lead in every roleplaying moment. They are the first to charge the Boss. They are the first to cut other people off in the middle of their turn or scene so they can create a fantastical narrative that will surely be best for the story…
While your intensions may be pure, your actions tell a different story. It tells everyone else around you that you feel your character is more important. It tells them you think the story is based around your character, and your character only. It tells everyone at the table they should have just stayed home today because you obviously got this.
No one likes that guy or gal. So if you start to feel the urge to jump into every scene (somehow magically reappearing in the tavern even though you had just finished your scene at the blacksmith’s shop) check yourself before you start to ruin everyone else’s fun.
5. Try to Take Over The Story Narrative.
This issue plays right along with the above issue, but it can be a problem all in itself. We all play Dungeons and Dragons because we love the stories, the epic battles, the silly moments we get to share with friends. But sometimes players can get so caught up in their own plans and goals that they can try to push the DM towards their own personal goals, or even worse. Fully seize the narrative from the DM.
If you want to tell the story, then become the Dungeon Master and start your own game. Please respect the person who has taken time to write and design the story they have invited you to partake in. It is challenging all on its own to create a great story without having someone trying to overrule your decisions. You came to play, so relax be the player, and just let your Dungeon Master create the adventure you’re facing.
6. Always Argue with Your DM
This one is tough, and it is mostly avoided when communication is clear, and expectations are set at the very first session. Dungeon Masters wear many hats. They run NPCs, they build dungeons and they are the referees at the table. Sometimes the story can be so good everyone gets sucked into the emotions of the game. Most of the time this is a testament to how amazing of a tale you and your friends are building. But occasionally those emotions can send us down a dark path.
When your DM makes a call, even one you are unsure of, it is fine to calmly voice your confusion or concerns. But if they stick by their decision accept it and continue playing. You can always talk to them afterwards and resolve it more peacefully. If a DM later agrees with you they can always retroactively make adjustments to their story when possible or ensure it doesn’t happen in the future.
When players begin challenging the DM every time, and complain about every decision that their Dungeon Master made. There is a chance that you can literally destroy the session and potentially the entire campaign. It is not worth ruining everyone’s fun over your one disagreement. And if it is something you don’t like; you can choose to no longer play in that group. But screaming at the gal or guy who has dedicated their time to running this game for you is not the answer. NO ONE WILL WIN!
Conclusion
At the table most people think the enjoyment of the game is mostly reliant on the DM’s abilities. But in truth everyone who sits down at the table has an equal responsibility to create a fun game.
There are so many things you can do as a player to ensure that everyone at the table has a great experience. The overall thing to realize when playing is, how we speak to one another both at the table and away from it. The way we choose to hold ourselves carries weight in the tone we set and the experiences we create. Be respectful and communicate as best as possible and I promise you will be one of the best players your DM has ever had!
